Pregnancy is a scary time!

I wasn't planning to write this post, but after experiencing something super scary today, I just had to share my experience. I mentioned in my last update, that when I went for a walk to the shop with Zachary, I experienced really bad back pain and started getting contractions... Well... today was a totally different story and I have been in tears all day.

Sooo... I woke up early in the morning, feeling great and energised. I got ready, put makeup on, had a lovely breakfast and left Zachary with my husband at home, so I can go to the Post Office to pick up a parcel. Scott offered to take me, but it was very sunny and I felt great so I wanted to get some fresh air and a bit of exercise. After all, it's good to stay active during pregnancy and walking is highly recommended.

It's not a long walk at all, 15 minutes each way. I didn't take Zachary, because I was worried that I might get back pain again etc. You know... trying to be a responsible mum. And thank god I didn't take him with me! 

Before I even got to the post office, I felt the back pain coming. I sat down on a bench and tried to phone Scott to ask him to come and get me, because I didn't want to put unnecessary pressure on myself and the baby. With my luck, the phone was cut off so I couldn't get in touch with anyone. I sat on the bench for a bit longer and once I felt better, I went to the Post Office (it was only across the road from the bench). When I got out of the PO, the back pain was gone, so I popped into a charity shop to have a look at some toys. I was there for a minute and when I was walking out, I felt a bit dizzy.

I was already planning to use a phone booth on the main street to phone Scott and let him know to come and get me from a supermarket (I promised Zac a treat), but when I got to the phone booth I started to feel even more dizzy, with ringing in my ears and blurred vision. I have never experienced anything like this. I managed to put some money in and dialled the number, only to be directed to voicemail. Scott always checks the voicemail immediately, so I knew that he will get the message. I told him to come and get me from the phone booth and by the end of the message I was literally passing out, sliding down the wall... mumbling that I need help. I was a second away from hitting the floor. It was absolutely terrifying. I had all sorts of things running through my head (including dying in a phone booth)... It wasn't just me who was in danger, it was my unborn baby too!

I tried to stay calm and focused on my breathing and after a minute, I could see again and the ringing in my ears was gone. I still felt dizzy though. I dialled the number again and thankfully Scott answered and said that him and Zachary are on their way to get me. What a relief! I got out of the phone booth to make sure I am around people who can help (just in case), sat on the nearest bench and 2 minutes later, I was in the car, crying like a psycho. I swear... I was absolutely terrified and I couldn't stop crying! Once we got home, I had some food and tea, checked baby's heart beat on my Doppler, took a little nap and watched some trash tv to help me relax. She has been moving a lot, kicking etc so she is fine. I would have panicked if I didn't have a baby heart rate monitor and didn't feel any movement. 

So, what the hell happened to me??? I was told that it is very common to feel like this and many women actually pass out during pregnancy, but I just can't stop thinking about it. I could have fainted on the street, burst my head open and die! It's soooo scary! It could be caused by many factors, including blood pressure, sugar levels, heat etc. Another option is an anxiety/panic attack, but I get them a lot and it was totally different. I never feel like I am going to faint during an anxiety/panic attack.

I booked an appointment with my doctor for Wednesday, but apparently it will be absolutely pointless and he won't be able to reassure or help me in any way. I will make him check my blood pressure and blood sugar though just in case.

I just feel like I can't trust myself anymore with going out of the house and I will be stuck inside until August. Fact! I am not going anywhere by myself till the baby is born! Thankfully, my husband is at home a lot so we can do family things together, but I just can't believe how different this pregnancy is! The last time I was working 12h nightshift and I was perfectly fine.

Oh my... I don't even know why I am sharing this, but I just can't get over it. I have been thinking about it all day and I am worried that it will be stressful for the baby. 

Pregnancy is a scary time. Our bodies go through so many changes that sometimes it is impossible to keep up with the extra blood flow etc. What was a norm before can be a real challenge now and I feel like I am only safe in my house with a phone by my side, just in case something goes wrong.  It's terrifying enough to be growing a human and giving birth, so any possible problems/complications simply scare the hell out of me.

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